Monday, February 21, 2011

Pillow Talk

We may have a concert benefit for Henry's Heroes! I may have an opportunity to speak. I was up four times with the boys, but it was ok. Henry took a full 'dose' of formula yesterday. After venting Henry, I laid in my bed, with the pillow in a weird angle, and tried to sleep. I'm a ruminater at night. I am unskilled at shutting my brain off... but occasionally, I write a wonderful blog, in my head...

We are under the misguided impression that details, are our business. We have sat on our couches and in our arm chairs watching other peoples lives on the television, on youtube and through facebook status updates. Shame on us.

I see the results everytime we take Henry out. "What's wrong with him?" is not said every time, but the stare is unbelievably clear.
Let me say, that it is no one's business. So, as you wander through your grocery store collecting the things on your list, mind your own business. I don't saw this to be harsh. I say this because, while a little boy may be in a wheelchair, or a little girl my be on braces or a baby may be crying, the only thing we need to know about that child, is that it is loved. It is loved by many people. Every time we say something dumb, we may not hurt the unaware child, but we do hurt family and friends that love him or her. Consider that, when you leave the store, you will probably forget about that child... but the loved ones won't forget what you said, or the look on your face as your gaze lingered too long on their child.

Families raising a child with a disability want to be and do normal things. We want to go to the market and collect our breakfast, dinner and lightbulbs. We want to be able to mingle and smile with strangers. We don't want to be defensive. We want to conduct our business and get on with our day. We want the same things that everyone else does.

So, as you go through your day, and inevitably encounter someone that is different - smile. Smile at a mom pushing a wheelchair. Smile at a sister carrying a wiggly baby. Smile at a dad as he shows the oranges to his nearly blind son. Know, that they are just like you, with hopes and dreams for their loved ones.
Know that sadness and grief are a huge part of their life. Know that hard work and determination are the only things that keep them from falling apart. Know, that they are a part of your village, and deserve kindness... and that they love their children.
The rest are just details that don't matter.


  1. I smile at all small children. Whether they walk or talk or just sit. They can do goofy things while there parents shop and they remind me of those days when mine were little.

    I smile at the kids that come in from the H.S. to work an hour at the resale shop. They have disabilities but they put clothes on hangers. some will talk to you others won't. But I smile when they those moments that we all do.

    They are people who are being given purpose.